This is a sexual term, related to dominant positioning. Topping someone in sex is informative to a relationship, because there are ways that dominance and strength are a form of completion. Saying what you want, even gruffly, is a means of telling the person you are speaking to that you actually want them, particularly.
The message here is: Be strong. Don't be constantly compliant and cooperative. Women want to be heard, but they don't want to push you around. So — despite all my urging to be humble, self-contained, to strip yourself of expectations — be honest about what you need, what you like and what you want. Don't force it, but don't back off either.
Save your best stuff if you must, leave blank lines, whatever. But understand that if you are not willing to open up in this way, at least in some fashion, then you probably aren't in love.
You might be worrying that telling her you still like YouPorn — Just once a week or so! And real people! Real women! Never the ones with porn stars! — will screw the pooch with her, then you're probably still worrying more about getting laid than falling in love.
I stood there, staring at it, trapped in the obtuseness of my fourteenth year on the planet, assuming someone made this for me. I pulled it out, went and thanked my mom, who was watching network news on a black and white television. She smiled and said, "That's for me.
Save your best stuff if you must
Don't ask for forgiveness. This is an assertion, too, not an apology. If you're lucky, she'll be inspired to do the same. And the two of you will undo years of horseshit and prevarication because she's embarrassed she slept with her stepbrother when she was nineteen, or you didn't want to admit that the strap-on thing really does interest you.
- Give in.
- Even a bad meal, made for another, tells that person you will try, that you will come back stronger and better informed.
- This is a sexual term, related to dominant positioning.
Make a list of all your flaws, foibles, and missteps. Be honest.
4. Give compliments.
It was not why she didn't love me, though. I know how to cook. I knew it then. I was the better cook really. I'd simply forgotten that the creation of food — palatable and well made — is an act of devotion first and foremost. It's exactly the sort of safe, selfless demonstrative act that love requires early on.
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- -ways to show your girlfriend you love her