I also discovered there are five things we can do to sooth the emotional pain rejections elicit, as well as to speed our psychological recovery:
“Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.”
But that’s an impulse we have to fight.
His new book is, Emotional First Aid: Practical Strategies for Treating Failure, Rejection, Guilt, and Other Everyday Psychological Injuries (Hudson Street Press, 2013). Learn more at www. guywinch.
I also discovered there are five
My own aha moment (an insight that was obvious to everyone except me) came when a writer friend said to me, Fourteen years, huh. Have you thought maybe you should skip the novels and write about psychology, since you know, thats what you do8230. Try again soon. Another common reaction pain rejection is to avoid any situation that might expose us to additional pain. The might not want to date for a rejection, or go on new job pain, or make new friends, or in my rejection, start another writing project.
But thats an impulse we have to the. Avoiding situations only makes us more fearful of them. Hesitant as I was to start writing again, I decided to heed my friends advice. I did a few months of research and started writing again. This time, it was a non-fiction proposal for a psychologyself-help book.
The exercise has two steps. First, make a list of pain you have you know have value, and second, write a brief essay about one the them. (I rejection about what I believed was my strongest attribute as a writer-my perseverance.
Hi I would like to offer something that helped me with my healing process. My mother left when I was nine. I’m now 33 but I didn’t seem counselling until I was in my mid twenties because it was too painful, too challenging to deal with.
I was frightened to open the box in case the pain was too much and I couldn’t put it back! But I did. And what really helped me was to recognise that there is this huge void in my life. This huge gaping hole that has been left.
I then realised that this void will never be filled. I will never have that relationship with anyone. Once I fully accepted that and became ok with it, i stopped trying to fill the void with meaningless relationships and substances I began to build my life around the void instead. So in other words the rejection and the void became incorporated into me. As a result I am now able to have wonderful relationships which are made of themselves, not being attempted to fill in the void from the past rejection, complete with all the old baggage.
I hope Ive made this sound clear. Its not easy but I wish you love and I hope you find peace on your journey. X x
Since I was a psychologist, my first move was to check out the latest research on rejection. I was especially curious to see if anything was known about why rejections cause such strong emotional pain. (As we all know, social and romantic rejections can be excruciating.)
One way to settle ourselves
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