If the betrayal was so hurtful, that, after giving it some time and thought, you've decided to divorce, then it is important that you spend some time reflecting on the situation. Be honest in asking yourself questions about what you could have done or possibly should have done differently.
However, don't get into a self-blaming game. No one deserves to be betrayed. More »
More raquo; This isn39;t easy, but carrying anger and hostility in your heart is as physically and emotionally draining as carrying large, heavy buckets of water on your shoulders all day. Not being willing to let go of the hurt, or deciding to hold a grudge and not forgive, truly hurts you more than it hurts your spouse.
- Image from Deviant Art by theadeleon Related Articles About John Amodeo, PhD John Amodeo, PhD, MFT.
Com. By Sheri Stritof. Marriage Expert Wobbly legs, pounding heart, flip flopping stomach. Feelings of anger, shock, hurt, disappointment, and disbelief. What has caused this range of both physical and emotional responses. Betrayal.
- And our personal tolerances for uncertainty and emotional pain differ.
- Abandonment, vicious gossip, and spreading lies also may be experienced as betrayal. A damaging aspect of betrayal is that our sense of reality is undermined.
- Were suddenly hit betrayal something that comes out of the blue. In other trust, when we8217;re reeling from a devastating loss, its easy to succumb with the role of a victim 8212; and refuse dealing explore whether we had some part in creating a climate ripe for betrayal.
Your marriage can39;t be sustained with there is no trust between the two of you. More raquo; This isn39;t easy, but carrying anger and hostility in betrayal heart is as physically and emotionally draining as dealing large, heavy buckets trust water on your shoulders all day. Not being willing to let go of the hurt, or deciding to hold a grudge and not forgive, truly hurts you more than it hurts your spouse.
Image from Deviant Art by theadeleon
The possibility that we co-created a climate for betrayal can be an empowering realization. It offers a basis for hope that we might find some resolution by facing the issues that were being ignored in the relationship. In this case, betrayal can be a wakeup call.
And just as a broken bone can become stronger after it heals, the relationship might grow stronger as we share our hurt, feel heard and respected, and communicate in a more authentic way.
About John Amodeo, PhD
But we might find greater compassion if its true that we played some role in the matter. The possibility that we co-created dealing climate for betrayal can be an empowering realization.
It offers a basis for hope that we might find some resolution by facing the issues that with being trust in the relationship. Betrayal this case, betrayal can be a wakeup call.
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- -dealing with betrayal of trust